Friday 16 January 2015

remembering (v): a thing that causes me to get emotional and write a lot of things [or] a look back at 2014

Seeing as how we're almost two weeks into January I figured it was high time that I write my 2014 year end blog post. Not having internet for a week right at the end/beginning of the year is not fun.

Anyway.

2014 was a huge year. It was full of so many ups and down. Honestly, many things have blurred together; other things will always stand out in my memory for years to come.

As a side note, I think it's interesting how different events, different times in our lives, stand out above others in our memory. I've found that usually they're either really awesome things or really not so awesome things. I guess it's things that carry high emotion. Maybe.

I started out 2014 in my favourite city in the world. I remember getting on a plane 31 December 2013 in Atlanta knowing that when I disembarked it would be 2014 and I would be standing on British soil in London, England.

Those ten days were the best possible way to start off 2014. I remember riding the Tube for the first time, being crammed into the carriage with all twenty of us in there with our luggage. I remember seeing Big Ben for the first time. I remember riding on the London Eye and feeling overwhelming happiness. I remember walking through the streets, seeing all the sights, breathing in the air. I remember the bitter cold and slicing wind we encountered at Stonehenge. I remember strolling through the cobblestone streets of Bath and Canterbury. I remember my first English rainbow. I remember seeing France from the shore of Dover. I remember having pasties and drinking tea. I remember my first Nandos experience. I remember queuing to get tickets for American Psycho. I remember seeing One Direction on the television in our hotel room. I remember getting caught in a sudden downpour. I remember the overwhelming sadness I felt sitting in Heathrow waiting to fly back to the States.

My friend Justin blogged about the trip in real time over on his blog. You should check it out here.

The months between my return to America and summer are a blur. But big things happened during those months. I was reduced to feeling worthless after someone I called friend played with my heart. My father had a heart attack that shook my family to its core. I did attend my first college graduation. It was cool so see so many people that I knew finally receive their diplomas. In the midst of all of this, I gained so many new friendships and strengthen several "old" friendships. I also lost a friend or two along the way. The spring semester was a challenge. But I learned so much about God and about life during those months.

Summer is when I got this blog. June, I believe. Summer is also when I had some of the greatest times of my life.

For starters, I got to go to the beach for a week with my best friend and her family. I hadn't been to the beach for a proper vacation in years. Like double digit years. I remember sitting in the car for hours keeping ourselves entertained with Disney films. I remember our impromptu IKEA trip waiting on a delayed flight. I remember seeing the ocean and feeling the sand between my toes. I remember spending hours on the beach, reading, tanning, relaxing. I remember learning how to play cards at the dinner table. I remember getting that sunburn that I can still see what bikini I was wearing when I look in the mirror. I remember standing at the top of a lighthouse and watching a storm roll in across the water. I remember spending time with my best friend and laughing until our sides hurt.

The other main event that occurred this summer also happened to be my first concert of the year. Not only that... It was my first One Direction concert. Ever. But before that happened, I got to meet Sam and Miranda in real life! We spent an afternoon in Chattanooga, doing all kinds of fun things. Then literally the next day I went up to Nashville to stay with them and prepare for the concert.

If you want to read my full concert review, click here. But for the sake of this post, I'm only going to hit the highlights.

19 August 2014 was my first ever One Direction concert. I remember getting ready and not feeling like it was actually going to happen. I remember riding to the venue starting to feel jitters. I remember standing outside the venue with hundreds of other fans and hearing various soundcheck things. I remember walking into the stadium and not being able to contain my smile. I remember seeing the stage for the first time and feeling butterflies erupt in my stomach. I remember watching 5 Seconds of Summer. I remember the heat. I remember when the lights went down and the crowd erupted. I remember watching the screen and seeing their faces plastered across them all. I remember thinking I was about to see them in real life. I remember laying eyes on all five of them for the first time. I remember screaming and crying and singing. I remember having an absolute blast.

About a week after the concert, I was back at Bryan for the fall semester. I was moving in and preparing for classes while still singing One Direction songs. But let's be real... I'm almost always doing that. Early into the semester, I had my second concert of the season: Ed Sheeran.

I have been wanting to see him in concert ever since I first heard +. When my friend got us tickets, I was so overjoyed. I remember the normally two hour drive to Atlanta taking close to five because of traffic. I remember the ride to the venue still not really believing I was finally seeing Ed. I remember sitting through the opening act and only recognising one song. I remember the lights going down and the crowd screaming. I remember seeing Ed walk on stage. I remember him being completely in his element. I remember being completely blown away by his talent. I remember when he quieted the entire arena. I remember singing my heart out. I remember dancing in my seat. I remember loving every minute.

Again, if you'd like to read my full concert review, please click here.

I went back to school and suffered through a few more weeks until October arrived. October brought with it the event I had been waiting for ever since November of 2013. My big One Direction show. So I don't bore you with the details, the full post about this is here.

The Atlanta show was absolutely phenomenal. We had VIP, and it absolutely made the difference for me from Nashville. I remember the drive to Atlanta. I remember getting lost trying to find the hotel. I remember queuing in the line to get our tickets. I remember anticipating getting inside the Georgia Dome. I remember bouncing out of my seat at the pre-party. I remember getting to my seat and having a mental breakdown. I remember jamming to 5SOS. I remember waiting and waiting and waiting for the boys to come out. I remember the lights finally going out and the crowd going absolutely mental. I remember watching the video again. I remember seeing them again. I remember the electricity that was in the air. I remember smiling so much my face hurt. I remember screaming and crying more than I have in my entire life. I remember singing and dancing with one of my best friends. I remember having the best night of my life.

The rest of October flew by rather quickly. I spent my fall break in Knoxville with Lex and Em. It was great to have a long weekend where I didn't have school or work on my mind. It was also great to spend those days with two girls who have quickly become two of my best friends. They are definitely two people God brought into my life specifically this year because He knew I would need them. Eventually October turned into November, and at some point in the middle of all of this, mum was diagnosed with her fourth cancer.

I don't remember the exactly timing of all of it. I just remember her feeling a knot under the skin on her arm. As the weeks progressed, it got bigger, so she saw her doctor about it.  She was referred to a surgeon after an ultrasound didn't look too promising. Long story short, the removed a tumour and discovered it was a metastasis of her second cancer from the late 90s. Thankfully, two surgeries later, she is cancer free. But she's still dealing with some of the effects of having her arm cut open and a large amount of tissue removed.

Thanksgiving snuck up on me rather quickly. If memory serves me correct, I made the decision to not come back to Bryan around this time. It was definitely a time of crying and soul searching as I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. But also during this time, I got to attend my final concert of the year.

On Black Friday after working a 6am-12pm shift, I made my way down to Track 29 to stand in line for The 1975. I went with my friend Jasmine and we met up with a friend of ours from Twitter Brianna. We also ended up meeting up with a friend of mine from tumblr Val and her friends after the show. But I remember standing in line in the freeing cold for what seemed like hours waiting to go inside. I remember the people in front of us in line hating on One Direction and their fans. I remember having a nice chat with one of the folks who works at the venue after he scanned our tickets. I remember the buzz I got from the Jack and Coke I downed during one of the opening acts. I remember the electricity in the air and the rush of the crowd as The 1975 took the stage. I remember swaying to the music and singing along. I remember the moments Matty told us to put our phones away and just be in the moment. I remember appreciating the music more than anything else that night.

When November ended, there were only a couple weeks left in the semester. After finals, I packed up my things and said goodbye to Bryan College. My time as a student ended. It was definitely bittersweet. I came home and things at work became even busier than before. Before I knew it, Christmas was here. I spent time with family and friends and relished in the spirit of the season. It was refreshing and wonderful. Then again before I knew it, I turned 22. I always reflect a lot on my birthday. Because it's one of the last days of the year, I tend to find myself reflecting on the last year as a whole and also as a year of life. Does that make sense? I hope so. It makes sense in my head. My birthday was relatively quiet. Just dinner with my parents and my best friend and her parents. Just like always. I've learned that I do love tradition.

2014 was a great year. I grew so much as a person. I gained so many friendships. I learned a lot about myself. There are events that occurred last year that I don't think I'll ever be able to top or have something compare to it. But I'm not so sure that I should. Every year is a gift. Each year is special in its own right.

The new year ahead of me promises to be full of growth and tons of fun. But I'm not naive to think it'll be without its hardships. I'm excited to see what lies ahead in 2015, but I'm nervous at the same time. I have a lot of plans, a lot of ideas. And now it's time to make them come to life.

Here's to a new year sure to be full of new things to remember.

xx

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